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I am 52 years old and I used drugs and alcohol for half of my life. I began using at the age of 14 the summer after I graduated the 8th grade. Marijuana and alcohol in the beginning and just weekends. By the time I was 16 acid was introduced and pot was an everyday thing. It progressed from there. I became a Father at the age of 20, still using and drinking (cocaine had been added). After loosing my Family at the age of 25 crystal meth came along. I went to Florida and worked for a couple of years to get away. We can not run away from reality. Trying to just drove me deeper to the point I became numb to how selfish and irresponsible I was being. I came home from Florida in 1995. In 1996 (Easter Sunday) I ask Christ to save me. I stayed clean for a few months and then started using again and it escalated too the point I became worse than I had ever been. For the next 12 years my purpose was to make sure I never ran out of alcohol and drugs. My stepdad died in 2004 and my Mama died in 2006. I was under the influence of alcohol and drugs at both funerals. My Mama left the house to me, but I was paying the property tax, couldn’t keep the lights on or groceries. I remember one night, I had borrowed a generator from a friend because I did not have electricity and was upset because it was not strong enough to burn one fluorescent light bright enough so I could see how to smoke meth. Then July 30, 2008 it was my Daughters 20th birthday. No license, no phone, no car, no job and nothing to give Holly and my girlfriend Dawn had left me May 25th. I was at the bottom and fed up with what I had allowed myself to become. That was the end of using and drinking. August of that year Dawn gave me another chance. She started back to Unity Baptist Church in December and I started January and re-dedicated my life to God. I was clean and sober about 6 months when my daughter Holly told me she knew I was clean because she could hear it in voice. I was at the grocery store and I can remember the actual parking spot I was in. Dawn and I got married September 26th, 2009. July 30, 2020 will make 12 years clean, sober and faithfully serving God. When I came back to God, He came to me just like the Father came to the Prodigal son. I pray that the mistakes I made, and my testimony can help someone else make it out of addiction just as God lead me out. God will give you everything you need to make it happen. We cannot make the hurt and pain go away that we caused others, but each day we can make sure we don’t do it again. All the Glory goes to God.
At what time during the day do you talk with God the most?
Each day, getting up with struggles that burden you down can
make life so overwhelming. As you watch time go by so quickly,
you would love to have the button to make it slow down. I know
I am not alone and that is why I write this to you. I am Monica.
I share a part of my life that made all the
difference & really where my life truly began. I want to
take you back to 1994... I had been married for 3 years & our son
was 2 years old. I always wanted a family of my own, but I really
didn't know how to enjoy my family, much less my life. I did not like
what I saw looking in the mirror. I dealt with so many negative
emotions (just a few - low self esteem, hurt, resentment...).
I didn't know how to jump over them without falling flat on my
face. You know, as I do, that if you live long enough people will fail
you. You can be your worst enemy out of that hurt and anger. Going
day in & day out, I knew there had to be more to life then this.
I was overwhelmed with fear of death. The night I cried to God,
"Please let me go to Heaven I am afraid of anything else." I finally
fell asleep. I woke up "It was the New Day I needed." I had assurance
& hope I hadn't had before. I started to read my Bible & Truth saved
my life. Jesus filled my life with meaning. There was a man that loved
me so much that He died for me. This is a love for us all. We just
have to see our great need for forgiveness. There will never be
enough people, drugs, drink, food, money or any other things or
stuff that can fill that empty void on the inside. This relationship
with Jesus has changed me. I know I could never have changed on my own.
It doesn't mean life is always easy. It's having someone in your life you
can truly trust & help you every step of the way - a much better life than
what I was living. Living day to day the Lord's grace & mercy changes
me. If I fall he helps me up. Out of this changed life came
Walk by Faith Newsletter. I want to encourage others through their
struggles. You might feel life is hard, burdened & hopeless. You are not
alone. I want to introduce you to the one, Jesus, you can trust and rely
on. Now I am married going on 29 years to my best friend.
Our son is now 29 years old & lives on his own. God is faithful!
Thank you for reading. Please take the time to share with others.
If you have this HOPE, please pass it on. You don't know
what your life story could mean to someone
else who doesn't know where to turn.
written by Monica
lynn4052000@aol.com
"Therefore, since through God’s mercy
we have this ministry, we do not lose heart."
2 Corinthians 4:1
What helps you the most with your Spiritual growth?